The Lizzie Bennet Diaries Official

Parody press release of Pemberley Digital’s Domino application.

cnell:

San Francisco, CA - February 1, 2013

Here at Pemberley Digital, not even family conflict and Internet scandals can get in the way of exciting plans in store for Domino, our brand-new story and communications application.

Domino’s intuitive AI and revolutionary audo-editing and auto-uploading functions will provide an amazing, not-at-all-creepy window into the personal lives of people around the world – and even right here in our own office.

“I’m totally loving the user interface,” says Georgiana Darcy, who will be demonstrating the Domino app on Pemberley’s public video portal for the next few weeks.

“I especially love using the video feature, so my stupid brother at least has to look me in the face while he’s being a patronizing jerk. Did he even sleep last night?? God, I’m going to kill him.”

The development team is thrilled with progress so far and can’t wait to unveil the rest of Domino’s cutting-edge multimedia capabilities.

“It’s been a real privilege to be involved in this exciting project,” says Domino programming team lead Anne Elliot. “It’s another big step toward the vision of our young Chief Executive, who has shown such determi—Oh god, I don’t think I can do this. I just want him to be happy, why does everything have to be so haaaard.”

Pemberley Digital is also pleased to announce the completion of our latest test run of Oblivious, an innovative business application that blocks all incoming phone calls, texts, emails and tweets for up to 48 hours – the perfect solution for busy professionals who just get tired of people sometimes.

If you were unable to contact us while testing was underway, please personally deliver your message in a wax-sealed envelope to our head office and we will get back to you shortly.

pemberleydigital.com